


Are You a Cat? Because You're Purrrfect

by letsbegin



Series: Lorenly fic challenge [11]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Animal Puns, Fluff, Gethin Anthony love, M/M, background Robb/Theon, minor JoJo Rabbit spoiler, zookeeper Loras
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:38:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24800176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letsbegin/pseuds/letsbegin
Summary: Day 11: You are a zookeeper and a guest keeps using dumb animal puns like "You are foxy" and "You are dino-mite" around you.Loras is a zookeeper and his favorite patron makes cheesy puns but Loras loves it.
Relationships: Renly Baratheon/Loras Tyrell
Series: Lorenly fic challenge [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1780165
Comments: 1
Kudos: 19





	Are You a Cat? Because You're Purrrfect

**Author's Note:**

> There's a minor spoiler about JoJo rabbit when they're with the deer. A lot of the animals are named after Gethin Anthony characters.

“I’ve been thinking about you owl week” Loras smiled as he turned around to find his favorite zoo patron. 

The handsome brunette came to the zoo where Loras worked once a week, occasionally more. He would always use horrible animal pun pickup lines on Loras that made him smile. Sometimes Loras would only see him at one enclosure, sometimes at multiple throughout his visit, and sometimes the guy would join Loras on his rounds. Today the guy found him by the owl habitat.

“See, that one was actually kinda good” Loras walked the few feet to stand next to him.

“I may have been standing here for five minutes trying to come up with it” Renly gave a lopsided smirk.

“Well, you waited so long, I have to move on now” Loras said, hoping that today Renly would tag along.

“Well, I’d hate to miss out on your company. How bout a professional tour?” Renly smirked and Loras refrained from grinning too much.

“Follow me” Loras said and they started down the path.

“Where we going?” Renly asked cheerily.

“Next up after the owls is the foxes. They’re right down here” Loras pointed at an enclosure down the path.

“Hey,” Renly smirked as they got to the enclosure, “you’re foxy”

“That one was so obvious!” Loras laughed, heading to check on the gate and the animals.

“It’s obvious because it’s true. So zookeeper, Loras, tell me about foxes”

“They’re part of the canine family and can be sometimes confused with dogs. There are twelve species of true foxes, these are red foxes. They’re the most common species. The one in the corner over there is Darla, she’s three. She was rescued two years ago. One of her front legs was broken beyond repair. She can’t live in the wild with it so she’s stayed here. Foxes only live about two to five years so she’s kinda old. She spends most of her days lying in the sun. The one up there, that’s Lyle. He’s two. We got him a few months ago. He was caught in a horrible hunting trap. There was barbed wire attached and blinded him. He’s really friendly. Doesn’t quite understand that he’s blind. Runs into things a lot, but doesn’t let it stop him. He’s adorable. We had a third one named Tyra, but she was only here while a fracture healed. They released her six days ago”

“I thought there were four,” Renly said, still looking at the foxes.

“The fourth would be Castor. He was released three weeks ago after his wound healed”

“Huh, I guess it’s been a bit since I saw them”

“It’s not like you’re here every week” Loras said sarcastically as they started down the path and Renly lightly punched his arm.

“I don’t always see all the animals” Loras never asked why Renly came so often, he figured Renly would tell him if he wanted to.

“Well, these are the cougars” Loras gestured to the cage.

“I must be one of them because meow, you’re damn fine”

“Oh come on. That was even more obvious. And I don’t think you count as a cougar. Are you even older than me? If you are it’s not by much” Loras laughed.

“I’m twenty-eight”

“I’m twenty-five, that's only three years. Doesn’t count as a cougar”

“Still older. What are their names?”

“First off, information. Cougars are also known as mountain lions or pumas. They’re in the feline family. People are usually scared of them but they’re scared of people and are more reclusive. Fatal attacks are rare. They’re nocturnal, so they won’t be doing much while you’re here. I however get the pleasure of getting off my shift at midnight, meaning I’ll probably see them active. They’re very caring creatures, really. They care for each other. It’s beautiful. The one on top of the rock, that’s Margaery. She’s been here for three years, but she’s fourteen. She has vision problems that make it hard to hunt. She technically doesn’t live here. She comes by every few weeks, for eye drops and time to rest. When they first brought her in it was my fourth month on the job. I’m the one that named her. Margaery’s my sister's name. I realised my mistake quickly because no Margaery has me text her whenever she’s here so she can come visit her. The one lower on the rocks is Charlie. He’s thirteen. He’s got diabetes, we could’ve released him but he got kinda attached. Which brings me to that one under the ledge, Sunny. She’s fourteen, and Charlie’s mate. They don’t normally mate for life, but they seem to have. It’s amazing. She has a bad back leg, she doesn’t go up on the rocks much. And you can’t quite see from here but tucked into her side is their son, he’s six months old” Loras pointed to each of the mountain lions but started to blush mentioning the cub.

“What’s his name?” Renly turned to him.

“Don’t you dare laugh”

“What? Why would I laugh? Did you name him?” Renly looked at him confused.

“Yes, I did name him”

“What is it?”

“Renly,” Loras said quietly, looking away from Renly.

“You named it Renly? You named it after me?” Renly sounded genuinely touched.

“You had just been here that day. You bought antlers and wore them all day and gave me half of your pretzel”

“No one’s ever named something after me. Thanks” Renly smiled at him.

“You’re welcome” Loras smiled back. They stayed like that for a few moments before Loras looked away.

“We should be moving on. Unless you wanna see if you can see him”

“I’ll stop by before I leave. I wanna continue this tour” Renly grinned and they moved on.

The zoo had a small section of dinosaur statues and a children’s playground. Renly grinned when they walked by.

“Dude, if you were a dinosaur, you'd be a Gorgeousaurus” Renly winked and Loras blushed.

“You’re blushing!” Renly exclaimed when he noticed, which only made Loras blush more.

“Shut up” Loras mumbled.

“It’s adorable”

“Shut up and look at the koala” Loras pointed to the koala that was holding onto the fence staring down at them.

“It’s so cute. Do they often climb the fence though?”

“Nope. Just him. What no pun?”

“I bet you give koality hugs”

“Wow, that one was actually really good, maybe sometime you’ll find out” Loras winked.

“I hope so. So who are these guys?”

“They’re native to Australia. They may be called bears but are actually miscategorized. They’re really part of the marsupial family. They’re so cute. They eat pretty much only eucalyptus, which is where they get a lot of their water. Their diet has limited nutritional and caloric value, so they’re mostly sedentary. They can actually sleep up to twenty hours a day. They aren’t very social creatures. Bonds really only form between mothers and offspring. That guy however, loves seeing people and when he gets his check ups, he’ll cling to whoever is doing it and won’t let go. It’s so cute. His name is Kenny. Hey buddy!” Loras waved up at the koala and the koala waved back.

“Okay that’s too cute”

“Yeah. He’s the only one I’ve got to do it. He’s ten. He’s blind in his left eye. Him and that guy over there both came to us from Australia for a permanent home due to their inability to live in the wild. The other one Alfie. He’s friendly too but not quite as much as Kenny. He’s more relaxed, even for a koala. He’s fifteen. One of his legs was injured in a fall and didn’t heal properly” Loras explained before waving goodbye to Kenny and continuing on.

“I think we need to address this” Renly pointed at the animal on the other side of the fence.

“Nice one. That’s Hansken. He’s an eight year old African bush elephant. He and his mother Nangi are here as part of a conservation project. African bush elephants are classified as vulnerable due to habitat destruction and in some areas, poaching. They’re the largest living terrestrial animal. We’re getting another guy next month. Elephants are social animals, they travel in family units. We would have gotten more the first time, but we didn’t have a big enough habitat. We finished the expansion two weeks ago though”

“I’ll make sure to come on that day and greet him”

“I’m sure he’ll appreciate that. Come on. Bye, Hansken. Tell your mother I said bye” Loras waved as they continued on.

“Hey Jasper. Want a carrot?” Loras held a carrot out in front of a donkey that had come to greet them at the fence. The carrot was gratefully accepted.

“Are they jealous? Cause you got a fine ass” Renly smirked still looking at the donkey and Loras choked on his own spit.

“You want to feed him?” Loras offered Renly a carrot, without looking at him.

“Am I allowed to?” Renly asked hesitantly.

“Technically? No, you’re not. But you’re under my supervision and have my permission. Also it’s literally just holding out a carrot. You can’t mess up” Loras laughed as Renly took the carrot.

“I just don’t want to get in trouble” He said as he held the carrot out to the donkey, who took it.

“Jasper here was born in the zoo. His mother died last year. He’s friendly, don't worry. Donkeys are pretty common animals. I figure you already know about them. You can pet him” Loras patted Jasper’s neck and Renly did as well, “There’s also Casper, Jules, Bev, and Belle”

“You should name the next one Donkey”

“You have no idea how many times I’ve heard that” Loras laughed as they started walking away.

“Because you should”

“Here we are, the king of down under, the kangaroo” Loras gestured to the three kangaroos hanging out in the habitat.

“I’d like to go down under you” Renly was smirking directly at him now and Loras could only stare at him, eyes wide and mouth open.

“Loras? Did I break you?” Renly was laughing now, which snapped Loras out of his trance, “There you are”

“You’re not usually so forward,” Loras blushed.

“Yeah, that’s cause I couldn’t really act on anything. My older brothers are very prominent in the political world and that means they’re very worried about image. Specifically about what a gay brother would look like to their constitiuents”

“And now?” Loras was trying not to get his hopes up.

“My brother got exposed in a sex scandal. Everyone in his circle has known about it for years. He’s cheated on his wife with at this point, probably hundreds of women. I’ve never condoned it, nor most of the stuff they do. I don’t really get along with them. I do consultant work for politicians, only ones that I agree with, so not my brothers. I’m not proud of it but my brothers threatened to blacklist me if I did anything they thought would ruin them, so I’ve made compromises. But now that Robert’s ruined himself, nothing I do can be seen as worse, meaning I can do whatever the fuck I want without worrying about them. Like finally asking you out. Will you go out with e Loras?” Renly asked and Loras’s brain stopped functioning for a moment and he could only stare at him. But then his brain restarted and he grinned, grabbing Renly’s hand and bringing him to the other side of the path.

“How about dinner and a mooooovie?” Loras grinned as a cow walked over to see them.

“Sounds great, but you do remember you said your shift ends at midnight, right?”

“Shit, right. Okay, stay with me here. I’ll buy you food from one of the stands and I’ll show you all the behind the scenes. Then you can see the cougars in action”

“Sounds good. You never introduced me to the kangaroos”

“Right. First, this is Finn. He’s a cow” Loras pointed at the cow who’s head was now inches away from them.

“Hi Finn” 

“He’s a sweetheart. We’ll have to come back later to feed him, you can really meet him then”

“Okay. The kangaroos?”

“The big one is Martha, the one on her left is Derek, and the one on her right his Cash. They’ve been here longer than me, I don’t know anything about their names. They don’t like me. I don’t know why. They like other people, just not me”

“Maybe they’re homophobic” Renly joked.

“No, they like Robb”

“Who’s Robb?”

“Robb Stark is one of the guys that works here. He’s a wolf expert, but he’s had to work with them before. He’s also engaged to a guy the works at the aquarium named Theon”

“Weird. Who are these guys?” Renly asked as they came up to the deer.

“Red tailed deer. The one without antlers is Sansa, Robb named her after his sister. The small one is only four month old and his name is Freddy. Robb had just watched JoJo rabbit when he was born and apparently Freddy Finkel looks like Theon and his death made Robb cry. The one with antlers is named Gethin, after some actor Theon likes. Can you guess who named him?”

“Robb?”

“Yep. He named the first three when they were rescued so it was fitting he named the kid”

“What about the one in the back?”

“Oh right! That’s Theon. He actually reminds me a lot of the real Theon. Come on, we have a whole zoo to explore”

“We have a whole world to explore” Renly smiled as they walked hand in hand down the path.


End file.
